How To REALLY Prepare For A Baby

If you are expecting or planning to have a baby, I’m so glad you are on this page because today, I’m sharing tips on how to REALLY prepare for mom and dad life.

This is a “special” rehearsal checklist that you won’t often find in baby books and if you manage to tick off every thing in this list before your due date, I can guarantee that you’re going to rock motherhood (or fatherhood) ! 😃 

Let’s start.

#1 Sleep with one boob showing.

If your parents have always stopped you from showing too much skin, well, now is your time to shine. Your left and right will be exposed more than you’ve ever exposed them before!

#2 Pee and poop with the door half open.

Either your baby is too young that you can’t let him out of your sight, or he’s too clingy, he’ll follow you everywhere you go and won’t let you out of his sight. So. If you’re the kind of person who highly values privacy, you should start working on this.

#3 Take a bath in 3 minutes or less.

Set a timer. If you’re not done rinsing before it rings, try again tomorrow. You should be done in 3 minutes. Tops.

If you can do it with the door half open too, you’re going to be a great parent! 🙂

#4 Practice being a pillow or a bed.

Don’t move. Or else.

#5 Eat your lunch in installments.

If you always eat your lunch at 12nn, delay it for an hour. And then eat TWO spoonfuls in 30-minute intervals until you’re done. In between – just do whatever to keep your mind off of your hunger – pet your dog, feed your cat, fold your laundry, or mop your floors. You should feel full around 3pm or 4pm.

#6 Do the everyday things you do with just one hand.

You’ll often have a baby to carry on the other. So try getting dressed, tying your shoelaces, fixing your hair, washing your face, putting toothpaste on your toothbrush using only hand. Try it.

#7 Read your favorite poems or bible verses 10x a night.

Out loud. The animated way.

#8 Practice picking up food from the floor 3x a day.

Without being upset. 🙂

#9 Wash your hands 10x a day.

Once the baby comes out, you’ll have to wash your hands before making milk, every after diaper change, before food preparation, before touching your baby when you arrive home, and after doing #8.

#10 Memorize the lyrics of at least 10 nursery rhymes.

Skidamarink kadink kadink. Skidamarink kadoo. I.. love.. you.. Okay, again!

#11 Set the alarm and wake up every 2 hours at night.

Without being grumpy. 😃

So much fun!

#12 Try crying and smiling at the same time.

You’ll be in for an overwhelming circus of emotions. You’ll tear up over things you never thought you’d someday feel emotional about.

    

(Year 2011, when Mia first laughed.)

#13 Make hot coffee, leave it on the table, and drink it when it’s already cold.

Well, you can make a new cup but there’s a big chance it’ll get cold too before you even have your first gulp.

#14 Buy a week’s worth of groceries in just 20 minutes.

Including payment at the cashier.

#15 Do not tidy up or organize your home for a week.

If you’re Obsessive-Compulsive, it’s time to adjust. Think – tolerable mess.

#16 Practice napping.

Not sure if this is good news but just like your meals, sleep will be in installments too!

#17 Say No to all invites and try not to communicate with your friends for about a week.

Your newborn is a dictator and he will decide what you can and cannot do. LOL

#18 Start changing how you view things. Take saliva, for example. From now on, think – Drooling is cute.

#19 Talk in high but gentle, baby-friendly pitch, and make animal sounds when you’re out for a walk or a jog.

You’ll do this almost everyday so it’s never too early to start.

#20 Lastly , Rush Rush Rush.

Not just on your way to work, but for everything. Rush to trim your nails, rush to comb your hair, anything you do in a relaxed pace, rush it.

That’s it!

These may all sound tough (err more like crazy!) but don’t let it scare you. You won’t actually mind all the troubles your baby will cause because he’ll also do many little things that would make everything worth it!

So. If you’re already pregnant, you got 3 trimesters to try all of this out. Best of luck!