She was sitting on her potty, reading a book, when I suddenly heard chomping and munching sounds in our room.

Puzzled, I watched closely if her jaw was moving or if her cheeks were bulging, and much to my surprise, they were! She was chewing!

But chewing what?!?

“SPIT!!! SPIT IT OUT!!!” was my loud demand though I had no idea what it was.

It wasn’t food for sure. We were preparing for bed, done with brushing and all, and we had already dimmed the lights when nature called.

I cupped my hand below her mouth (pls. tell me you catch spit too?) and I was shocked to see a gooey sticker of Arthur (from PBS Kids) on my palm. 

She was casually chewing those like it was a normal thing to do. As if it was bubblegum!

I thought we were done with the mouthing stage? Aren’t we turning 4 soon?

 

“Why are you eating the stickers, Mia?”

Because I thought it’s food.

“No, that’s not true. You know it’s not food. Why did you eat the stickers??”

(Panicky, displeased, and confused mother needing some answers…) 

Because I know it’s not food but I suddenly thought it’s food.

“Hooowhat?!”

Exhibit A.

There WERE stickers covering those blue words.

I’m sorry, Mommy…

“Do you want to get sick? Do you want to choke?”

No…

“Then why did you eat the stickers?…”

In a calm manner, she responded,

You already asked that.. and I already answered Mommy.. 

“I want to know your real reason… Why did you eat it Mia?”

Because I was being sneaky when you’re not looking.

“Hmm.”

“Did you swallow it?”

No..

“Are you telling the truth?”

Yes. I spit it all on your hand and it’s already in the trash can o..

“But if you didn’t get caught, you could have swallowed it!”

Exhibit B.

Peeled off ballerina.

But in my dream, Mommy, there are babies who eat stickers.

“Oh.”

“Hmm.”

(How do I compete with that?)

I’m sorry, Mommy… Do you forgive me?

“You promise not to eat stickers again?”

Yes. 

(Long silence)

Are you still mad? Do you forgive me now?  

(HooooooooooSaaaaaaaaah. Calm down mother. Calm down…)

“Yes, I forgive you.”

Are you happy and not sad anymore?

“Yes.”

Because I said sorry and I tell the truth?

“Yes.”

Okay..

 

What’s the grossest thing your child has ever eaten? Dirt maybe? Pet food? Sand? Cat litter?

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