I’m not sure how exactly I sounded but I was definitely shouting in pain.

I screamed so loudly that my OB said,

“Jing, tone it down.”

I looked at her in disbelief.

(Tone it down?! No epidural, tone it down??!)

Roooaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr!!!

Any first timer, who has heard me, wouldn’t want to give birth anymore.

“Try to push without opening your mouth.”

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmhh!

(Oh…… so that’s how to do it quietly…)

Roooooaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

I actually felt the urge to push as every contraction occurred.

I would push even if the doctor didn’t say push.

I guess that’s the advantage over having an epidural. Your body will tell you when to.

The nurse beside me then stepped up on a stool and PUSHED her weight down on my tummy to help the baby out.

That HURT.

Okay, I take it back. Maybe I want to be numbed. HELP!

And because we were nearing the main event, the other delivery nurse started stimulating my breasts. Yep, you read that right. STIMULATING. She was drawing circles around my nipples and I couldn’t believe she was doing that to me! I felt violated again.huhu

Bitawan niyo ko, I hate you all!!!

(No, I didn’t say that out loud.)

It felt totally weird and I was completely helpless but the stimulation probably helped my labor to progress.

3:20ish

“CROWNING!” My doctor announced.

The “film viewing” students went in for a closer look.

Rooooaaaaaarrrrrr!!!

I wanted to punch them in the face because I know they wouldn’t get back at me. But then I suddenly felt a cut.

“Araaaaaaaaaay!!!” was my loud cry.

That incision was an entirely different pain from my contractions! I felt like raw chicken on a chopping board cut and sliced open.huhu

“Sorry Jing..”

Sorry? Ang sakeeeet!!!

(No, I didn’t say that aloud too)

“One more, Jing. One strong one.”

Ummmmmmmmmmh!

“Try again.”

Ummmmmmmmmmh!

“She’s almost out.”

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmh!

The last mighty push finally did it.

Hello MIA.

I watched as they raised her in the air.

She filled the room with very loud cries and I was the one silent this time.

I felt battered and exhausted and all I could do was look at Mia and thank God she was whole.

‪3:30pm

They immediately placed her on my tummy.

She was wrinkly, slimy, and covered with white patches but she was very warm…

And it was the most relieving feeling!!!

A few moments later, my placenta came out. I didn’t even know it was still in there! But that was VERY relieving too.

But of course, we’re not done yet.

If the baby’s exit looks like the hardest to you, wait till they stitch you up.

For me, that was MORE PAINFUL than the actual delivery.

The local anesthesia for it probably didn’t work as I felt every stitch.

EVERY STITCH!

My OB injected me with a second dose to no avail.

I could hear Chris trying to get my attention. He was by the door. Only one or two meters from the operating table. But I couldn’t look at him.

The stitching.

It was horrible.huhuhu

I could still hear Mia crying from afar. I looked at her direction and I got a glimpse of her red lips while they were cleaning her up.

I couldn’t believe it. I’m officially a momma.

And I gave birth without any drugs.

“Araaaaaayy… doc… ayoko na po.. di pa tapos?”

[Doc, I could not take the pain anymore. Is it not done yet?]

“Onti na lang Jing, ibabalik natin sa pagkavirgin ito.”

[Just a few more stitches. We’ll sew this back to its virgin state.]

Forgive me but those were her exact words.

The student nurses giggled and I swear I would have kicked one of them for having a fun moment while I was still in excruciating pain.

I seriously thought I was going to pass out but somehow, somehow, the idea of having mine nice and tight again after a human being came out and wrecked me, was dignifying. Torturous but dignifying.

When they were done, the students eased their way out one by one. The live film showing was done. I hope I gave them a good one.

They wheeled me out of the delivery room and brought me to my room.

I didn’t fall asleep. I was fully awake.

We were waiting for the nurses to deliver Mia to us.

And the moment that they did, that’s when I learned why they call newborns a bundle of joy.

I was overwhelmed with love. Oh my goodness it is so cliché, but there was music… LOL

I forgot about the fingers and the nurses. The cuts and the stitches. And the labor pains I went through.

Now I know what it takes to bring out another life.

(Go give your mothers a hug!)

(And say sorry for all the wrong you have done! LOL)

Chris, who witnessed everything, said he had mixed emotions upon seeing Mia too. He was teary and happy and he couldn’t believe he’s officially a father as well.

As for me, I felt like a total badass. It was rewarding and empowering and given the chance, I’d probably do it naturally again.

But I’ll definitely request for a stronger dose for the stitches the next time around.

P.S. No nurses were harmed. Hate all gone. ❤️

 

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