This is Em.
And yes, you’re not mistaken, that’s Ms.Krissy and Kim Chiu on the set.
He is a long time friend of ours and we couldn’t be more proud of how far he has reached with his jewelry line. I tell you, his handmade pieces are STUNNING! (Quick look at his designs HERE.)
Anyway, the reason he’s here today is because my 4-year-old is confused about why his godfather acts more like a fairy godmother.
Whenever he comes for a visit, Mia hears me call him Mars, Baks, other times Teh, but majority of the time, Girl.
How are you, Girl?
How’s business, Girl?
Kumain ka na, Girl?
I had no idea how many times I addressed him that way until Mia started correcting me 10-20 times a day!
“Not girl, BOY! He’s a boy, Mommy.“
“Yes. You are right. He is. Mommy is wrong.“
Mia would always alert me the MINUTE she overhears me say Girl.
“Not girl, BOY!“
“Oh no. Did I say Girl again?? I didn’t even notice…“
“Yes, you did. You’re wrong again, Mommy…“
In her mind it is probably, “Why on earth is Mommy making the same mistake over and over?”
The thing is I’m bound to make more mistakes.
4 out of 5 of Mia’s godfathers are openly gay men.
I didn’t really think I would need to discuss their sexuality to her this soon but with the way she repeatedly called my attention, she probably already needs an introduction.
But how do we explain homosexuality to kindergarteners?
Do we say it matter of factly? They’re men who like men / women who like women. Simple as that?
Or do we not bring it up at all until they ask?
I completely understand if you’re putting it off until your kids are older. That’s what I thought was best too, considering sexuality requires a bit of maturity to understand.
But since our beloved gay friends can be seen everywhere, we don’t want our kids shouting “Baklaaa!” or “Faggot!” to every homosexual they see on the street just because they heard one neighbor teased them that way, don’t we?
We need to explain it to them before TV, social media, or society does. And how we do it, especially if we give our opinion right away (be careful) plays a big factor on how they will treat homosexuals whenever they’re around them.
If you say Gays are a mistake or Homosexuality is a sin and your child turns out to be one later in life, rest assured, they will rebel or hide it from you.
If you say, it’s the new normal — Boy, Girl, and Gay — so your child will be more accepting – you’ll constantly be worried, until who knows when, if you are secretly hoping they won’t be Gay.
So how exactly do we carry it out?
Prior to this post, I wasn’t sure too. So one evening, even though Em and I were unprepared, we tried to give Mia some light.
Me: Ninong Em is a boy, Mia. But he has a girl’s heart. That’s why I always call him girl.
Em: Yah, I’m a girl inside!
Mia: But he’s a boy, Mommy. Look (inspecting him from head to toe), he really is a boy.
Me: Yes… on the outside. But inside, he feels like a girl. He’s a… He’s a… He’s a girl-hearted boy.
Mia: A girl-hearted boy?
Me: Yes. There are some girls who are boy-hearted too.
Mia: Boy-hearted girls?
There were a few seconds of silence… Until she finally said:
Mia: Me, I’m a girl-hearted girl.
Me: Yes. Yes, you are.
Not sure if that was good enough but that’s what Mia knows so far.
I googled similar articles that night and it was a blessing I chanced upon a gay author who suggested that the best way to explain same-sex relationships to young children is to simply say they are people who love each other. Period.
Love knows no gender or color. Love is love.
I guess I’m glad that I aimed at a similar direction — the heart.
Mia hasn’t ask about it since then but ironically, it is me who had to do some thinking afterwards. My own words kept ringing in my ears.
I realized I haven’t actually pictured Mia being the boy… Continue reading