One, because I firmly teach Mia that hitting other kids is bad. So she can’t but I can? Boo.

Two, because there are new studies on the possible effects of spanking on brain development that I don’t want to risk. The alternative methods are worth a try. Time outs, grounding, taking away privileges, praising good behavior, facing consequences, and so on.

Three, because I know of many who were spanked but who still grew up rude and ill-mannered.

Same disciplinary approach, different results.

My older brother, for instance, didn’t turn out so well. Oh, let’s not even go into how worse he has gotten.

A close family friend of ours, loved and disciplined the same way, didn’t grow up as courteous and considerate as her other siblings did.

These examples taught me that what works for one child doesn’t necessarily work for another.

That is why, for now, we are choosing to guide and direct our child sans the physical pain.

We are exerting extra effort in acting emotions out (sadness, downheartedness, upset etc.) to show that people’s feelings get hurt when we do them wrong. We role play a lot to communicate and compare how it feels when she’s on the receiving end of good and bad behavior from her peers.

We are sparing the “rod” but it doesn’t mean we are not going to be firm with the boundaries and limits we set. It doesn’t mean she won’t have to deal with the consequences of her actions or be saved from experiencing the emotional discomfort that unacceptable attitudes bring.

We are choosing to reason with her.

Because so far, she gets AWFULLY affected.

Her voice cracks when she says sorry. She cries when she has disappointed and put us down. She feels low when she doesn’t do things right. She asks for comfort and a hug every time she fails on being kind.

I tried to explain that to my mom but she was still not fully convinced.

“Nasasabi mo lang yan, anak. Tingnan mo, darating din kayo sa point na kailangan na.”

(You’re just saying that. Time will come that you would need to.)

Perhaps, Ma.

Perhaps Mia has not done anything grave enough for us to resort to physical punishment yet. Perhaps we haven’t reached the point where we have tried all other techniques and paddling is the only option left. Perhaps we haven’t reached the peak of anger that could potentially result to spanking.

But until then, we are avoiding the spanking boat as much as we can.

I’m sorry Ma. I’m not taking your rod.

What are your thoughts on this? You may have a different opinion or experience than mine. Feel free to share on the comment box below. No judgement! 🙂

If you are not decided yet, here are some good reads that may help you weigh the pros and cons:

The First Real-Time Study of Parents Spanking Their Kids

Pope Francis says it is OK to smack children if their ‘dignity is maintained’

Does Sparing The Rod Spoil The Child?

New Study Finds Spanking Is Good for Kids

Kids Who Get Spanked May Have Lower IQs

Study: Spanked Children May Grow Up to Be Happier, More Successful

Spanking the gray matter out of our kids